January 20, 2010

Don’t Forget True Religion

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I just learned about the Manhattan Declaration last week through a forwarded e-mail. Then our pastor mentioned it at church, so I went to ManhattanDeclaration.org and gave it a “look, see”. I agreed with the front page, so signed it.

This blog was going to be about how I don’t think signing this document will make much of a difference in America. And I still think that is true, as do the authors of the declaration. Unless the signing is also followed up with actions by the signers, but the actions I saw suggested on the website were not very inspiring to me. So I was going to say how those suggested action  items weren’t going to be very helpful to America (e.g. tell your neighbors about the declaration and ask them to sign it).

But to make sure that I wasn’t writing out of line, I decided to do a little more reading on the Manhattan Declaration website, and came away with the opposite opinion. What this declaration encourages Christians to do is, I believe, just what the Bible recommends:

1) Remember that people will know Christians by the love they show – nothing else matters if that is not first and foremost.

2) True religion is to take care of the widow and the orphan (e.i., take care of those who cannot take care of themselves).

3) People must be told about about Jesus. But remember No. 1 and No. 2.

There is so much more in the declaration, but these points stood out to me.

 

January 15, 2010

Why do we do that?

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My cat loves any water, except the clean water in her dish. Her favorite is the water in the goldfish bowl. But she shows up every morning to lick the water off the door of my embarrassingly dirty shower, and bathtime for the kids always leaves her hankering for the gritty, soapy aftermath in the bottom of the jacuzzi.

I don’t understand it. The goldfish water smells fishy – not just from the fish, but from the additives I put in it to make it safe for the fish. Oh, then there’s the toilets, the bathroom sinks, half empty water glasses drooled in by one of the kids.

But when I put her water dish full of crystal clear, unscented water down, she walks over, sniffs  it, looks at me, and walks away. Every once in awhile she will humor me with a lap or two, but the amount of cat litter I scoop, does not correlate to the amount of water that disappears from her dish. And I have to refill the goldfish bowls more than what would be required simply from evaporation, even in the dry winter air.

My theory is this – she was born a wild kitten in my sister’s barn. She drank from a nearly stagnant rivulet that, I guess a generation or two ago had been used as a sewer. It is all she knew, and now, when presented with something different, though better, she snubs it.

I, unfortunately find myself doing the same thing at times. When presented with a new way of behaving, that will definitely bring more joy into my life than my current way of  behaving, I may give it a little try. But in the long run, I go back to the old lousy way of behaving.

I guess this is a common human problem, since Paul writes a whole passage on it in Romans 7. Verses 15 and 24-25 are my favorites of that section.

I am thankful, that, unlike my cat, whom I allow to continue to drink dirty water, God finds positive and negative pressures to encourage me to change, until, eventually, I want to choose the new, better route. Though I still get lazy and drink the toilet water at times, that happens less and less often, and he promises the same for all of us!

 

January 10, 2010

Getting Ready for Spring Break

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We just booked tickets to South Padre Island for Spring Break. I am so excited – almost nothing gets me down. I feel like I can endure anything – in 10 weeks I will be on the beach with my husband and kids! I need to make sure I have the right clothes for everyone. I think I may need to trim down just a bit so that I don’t need a whole new wardrobe, but my swimsuit does need replacing regardless.

Need to make sure that there are diversions for everyone for the plane rides, though they are not going to be too long. That is the benefit of living in the midwest – it is only 3 hours to the farthest point in the contiguous 48 states.

All of this excitement and preparation made me think of how I should feel about life, in general. I have a big, glorious mansion in heaven to look forward to. I should be preparing for that experience with the same zest and awaiting it with the same unasailable peace and joy. After all, God has promised that He will give me that mansion, and that he will sustain me as I eagerly await that day.

I should be more excited and preparing more zealously for heaven than for South Padre Island. After all, this world is full of uncertainties. There are many things that could happen to prevent us from going, or that could require us to leave early, or could cause us to have a lousy time while we are there.

But I am thankful that God understands my human frailty and is, as far as I know, allowing me to enjoy his wonderful creation on a vacation. And I thank Him for reminding me to look to him everyday with the same anticipation, since his promises of joy, fulfillment, and security are greater than those offered by an island vacation (though in my frailty, it is hard to fathom!).

 

December 14, 2009

Funding for ASD/Military Family Camp

Posted by Heather Holbrook under Asperger's Syndrome, Christianity in America | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |
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My parents have a lake home on Spirit Lake, directly across from the Whispering Pines camp property in Burnett County, Wisconsin. The camp property has come up for sale.
 
My husband and I are interested in keeping Whispering Pines a Christian camp that serves the spiritual needs of families in the area. We would like to start a religious non-profit, so we would not own the camp, the non-profit would.
 
Our dream is to have a place for whole families struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to have a place to recuperate both physically and spiritually. We would like to offer hippotherapy (horse therapy), physical, occupational, and recreational therapy. We would also like to offer educational and counseling services, and most importantly spiritual support for the whole family through chapel services, kids programs and chaplains. Then, of course, the beauty of the lake and the enjoyment of the outdoors would add to the healing process. Our focus would be on serving military families and other families who have a loved one with a long-term developmental or physical disability. But all families experience extreme stress at times, so we would like to provide a place for all families to heal, and grow closer to God and each other.
 
I realize that there are several other Bible camps in the area, but they all focus on children or offering spiritual retreats for families and individuals without the added physical and psychological care that the we would seek to provide. Also, I understand that there is a new retreat center in the area for families who have lost a child or are suffering under the stress of a terminally ill child. The families we hope to serve do not fit into these categories – the families we hope to serve have a member who is temporarily or permanently disabled, but who is not terminally ill.
 
I realize that there are already two other offers on the property – one to make it into a housing development, another to make it into a campground. However, those offers are contingent on zoning changes.
If we can go to the zoning commission meeting on Thursday, Dec. 17 with a viable plan to keep the property a camp, we may be able to persuade the zoning commission to not approve the zoning changes required for the other two offers.
 
I figured out that with 20% down on a $970,000 dollar loan (that is what the current housing development offer is), we would need about $210,000 for a down payment and closing costs, and about $4500 a month to pay for the mortgage, assuming a loan at 5.25 %. My husband and I are able to finance a chunk of this project. If you, or anyone you know would be interested in supporting such a project, let me know and at what amount. If we could have some sort of viable funding by Thursday, that may help to keep the zoning change from being approved.
 
Thank you for your thoughtful consideration. I will not make any comments that disclose financial or contact information public.
Heather Holbrook
 
 

September 22, 2009

My biggest Bumper Sticker pet peeve

Posted by Heather Holbrook under Asperger's Syndrome, Christianity in America, Coping as Adults | Tags: , |
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You know that bumper sticker that says mean things about mean people? It’s been around for years. You know the one – it says, “Mean People S#!%.”

The first time I ever saw that sticker on the back of someone’s car I gave them a WIDE berth. Definitely did not want to get into their way for fear they might decide for some reason that I was mean and would then proceed to do me harm.

The funny thing was, the other day I mentioned to a neurotypical friend how oxymoronic I found that bumper sticker to be. My friend stopped, thought for a minute, and actually thought the bumper sticker was OK! Seriously?!

After I explained that saying someone, “s#$%s,” is mean (I really didn’t think something this obvious needed explaining!), my friend had to agree that the driver with the bumper sticker is now just as mean as the people this driver is supposedly trying to call out.

This bumper sticker helps bring home the reality of the verses in Matthew 5 where Jesus says to be good to those who are your enemies. Because if we are not, then we are just as despciable as them (hey, that’s two weeks in a row God has had me blog on that section of the Bible – hmmmm, God is up to something here…).

This interaction with my friend is a poster child for the social problems those of us with Asperger’s encounter. We are constantly confused by the double-standards that neurotypicals live by (e.g., thinking that it is not mean to say something mean about a mean person to everyone who drives by).

I believe that is one of the reasons God has allowed us Aspies to be around – we point out the obvious hypocrisies considered normal, acceptable behavior to everyone else.

However, before we Aspies become too high on ourselves, remember that even though we realize these hypocricies that are hidden to others, we are no better at living out the truth. Ironically, because of our extreme sensitivity and difficulty at doing more than one thing at a time (e.g., feeling angry and being able to think of the correct behovioral response at the same time), we spend more time being angry with people and more time treating them poorly than much of the general population.

Thank you God for using us to show others the truth of what you expect of us. Thank you for keeping us humbled by the limitations of our syndrome. Thank you that by relying on you, you can help us act in accordance to your will, when we can not on our own.

 

September 15, 2009

Back to the Beginning #3 – Easily Frustrated

Posted by Heather Holbrook under Asperger's Syndrome, Coping as Adults, Parenting Advice | Tags: |
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People with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders) are easily frustrated. It comes from our black and white view of the world.

If things aren’t going well, then they are going badly. If things are going badly, there is no guarantee that they will go well again, so we get very frustrated, because this bad situation is what we may be stuck with from now on.

Our black and white thinking is reinforced by (or is it created by – I do not know) our poor muscle planning. We know that if we get into a bad situation, it is not going to be easy for us to quickly get out of it. Our body does not naturally know how to jump out of the way of a ball flying at our head, or a hammer coming down on our finger.

Also, we know that it is going to be harder to learn a new physical skill. And if it is a physical skill that has many parts that are all performed quickly, such as a golf swing, we feel overwhelmed.

In neurotypical people, mirror neurons in the brain allow one person to watch someone else do an action. The person watching is then able to copy that action immediately, and is able to practise that action in his or her head. It has been shown that for neurotypical people, practising the motion in their head is just as effective is practising the motion physically.

This is not so for people with ASD. The mirror neurons do not function properly in an ASD person. An ASD person must consciously train his or her body to do everything (except, of course to jerk in surprise at loud noises!).

Because everything is so difficult to learn, this makes learning new things more frustrating for the ASD person.

Also, it has been found that people with ASD do not have a natural continuum of emotions. They go from being fine, to extremely frustrated instantly, with no gradiation. With training, they can learn to control the external manifestations of those instant emotions, but those emotions will always threaten to come.

Thankfully, with prayer and leaning on God’s love, people with ASD can learn to give their extreme emotions to God, and let Him show appropriate Christian self-control through them.

God can use these intense emotions for His purposes, too, when the person has learned to respond to them properly. For instance, God abhors many things in our current culture. People with ASD feel this same abhorrence so intensely that they cannot ignore it, as can so many others who are able to feel at a lesser intensity.

This intense emotion can then keep someone with ASD consistently working against these abhorrent things, while others just go along with them, not realizing the harm. The key for the person with ASD is to let God channel that intensity into a loving, merciful response, rather than the natural rude, hurtful response.

Lord, I need more help in speaking the truth in love.

 

September 15, 2009

This is a Kingdom of Hearts

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It seems that many Christians agree that the persecution of Christians in America is coming.

Several weeks ago a Christian friend and I were having lunch and got onto the subject of persecution. She told me how important she thinks it is for resistance fighters to have weapons in order to be effective. Something didn’t seem right about that thought, but not being someone who is good at thinking on my feet, I just listened quietly, deciding to ponder that idea later.

On my drive home I talked to God about her ideas, and this is what I believe he reminded me of.

The resistance fighters she was thinking of were people who were fighting for the earthly treasures of land or political rights. As Christians, we are not (or at least, should not be) fighting for land or any other earthly possession.

We should be fighting for people’s souls. We should be fighting for the truth to be heard and accepted.

If we truly believe the truth of God’s love for us, then our own lives and possessions are worth nothing to us, so dying and loss should be no big deal (terrifying to us as humans, though it may seem).

Therefore, the only thing we are fighting for is the souls of our friends and persecutors. So to kill the body of the one we are trying to reach is 100% counterproductive.

There may be people called to bear arms, but I don’t think so – I don’t remember anyone in the early church defending themselves against persecution.

Remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:

 5Blessed are the meek,
      for they will inherit the earth. 
 7Blessed are the merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy. 
 9Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called sons of God.
 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

  38“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[g] 39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 

 43“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[h] and hate your enemy.’ 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you. ”

Lord, those are difficult words. Please help us be  perfect as you are perfect.

 

August 29, 2009

Thoughts on the release of the Libyan bomber

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Micah 6:8

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

 

I cannot imagine the pain endured by the families who lost loved ones on the flight that was allegedly bombed by the Libyan recently released from the Scotland prison. But from what I heard of the Scotland leader’s speech, the leader understood and respected the above Bible verse. His country had acted justly in imprisoning the Libyan, but now they were loving mercy and walking humbly with God by releasing the Libyan to his family.

 

August 26, 2009

The Good News about Autism Spectrum Disorders

Posted by Heather Holbrook under Asperger's Syndrome, Coping as Adults, Parenting Advice | Tags: |
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Once we (people with Autism Spectrum disorders) believe something, it is very hard for us to change our mind, no matter the information put in front of us. So if we believe what is right, we won’t be easily swayed from it.

 The things that are important to us are always on our minds. We are driven to focus on those things and are not easily distracted by what we consider to be trivial. So if the things of God become important to us, everyone around us will know.

 We have heightened senses and are not easily able to block out the input that we receive. So if God is talking to us, we have a hard time not listening.

We are very literal. So if the Bible commands that we do something, we are not at rest until we are at least trying to fulfill that command.

We have an excellent memory. So we are good at knowing what to pray for by recalling what God has said and what others have shared with us.

As with all strengths, when not used for God, these very strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. So, quite frankly, the only thing I have found to consistently work when parenting my son, and encouraging myself, is prayer for God’s strength.

I pray for strength and courage for all of you to follow God today – loving the unlovable, caring for those who would be orphans if it weren’t for you, and may He provide joy in places where there couldn’t be without His miraculous power.

 

July 14, 2009

Are there really more kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders today?

Posted by Heather Holbrook under Asperger's Syndrome, Coping as Adults, Parenting Advice | Tags: |
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I do not know anyone with a severely austic child, and I don’t know anyone personally who has a child that seemed 100% neurotypical until 2 years old and then lost language skills, so maybe those sorts of ASD cases are on the rise.

But I have found that among the “almost normal” kids on the Autism Spectrum there seems to be at least one parent that also exhibits Asperger’s symptoms, and often there is a grandparent. 

In my child’s case there is a parent (me), a grandparent, two great-grandparents, at least one great-great-grandparent, an uncle, a great uncle, several great-great aunts, and some cousins both in his generation, as well as several generations older.

So is it on the rise, or is the speed of our society such that it is just more obvious that people have a hard time with transitions?

Also, when I was a child, school was very orderly and eveyone did their own work. Now that the focus is on group work, people who have a hard time working in groups are going to be more obvious.

I think it is excellent that students are required to learn in groups, as that is required to survive as an adult. It just makes kids with ASD more obvious, which is good so that they can get the help that their older relatives didn’t.

 

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