How do you know if you are a boy or girl?

“How does someone know if they are a boy or a girl” asked my tween daughter.

Hmmm, that is an excellent question. As a friend my age said, “When we were kids we just needed to look down!” But I knew that answer wouldn’t do for a modern American kid.

So here’s what I told my daughter:

I believe that each of us are fearfully and wonderfully made by God to be exactly who He wants us to be. Psalm 139:13-18 says:

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

There are a few people born with both male and female body parts, so they have a unique path, but generally, if you are born with female body parts, God has created you to be a girl, and vice versa.

I remember as a child being curious about what it would be like to be a boy. I also remember pretending to be Tarzan, because being Jane sounded really boring. At times I have questioned whether I am really supposed to be a girl, because I used to always get along better with boys, and never seemed “girly” enough – hating small talk, not caring much about fashion or shopping, not being clued into all of the unspoken rules of conversation. But I have since learned that the social things that I thought made me less girly are actually just Autism. And when it comes to the core difference between boys and girls, I am definitely a girl. Thank goodness, too, because I do really enjoy getting dolled up every now and then!

God loves us and knows what is best for us, so in the end, I believe that we will be most at peace if we go along with who He designed us to be. Remember, we can’t see everything He can, even though sometimes it feels like we can see more!

“If you obey me and let me help you, you will have plenty.”  Isaiah 1:19

Next week I’ll talk more about what I have learned to be the core difference between boys and girls (PS, God mentions it in the Bible – what do you think it is?).


Published by

Heather Holbrook

I found out that I have Autism upon having a son with the same "disorder." Ironically, I was voted, "Most Likely to Succeed," by my high school classmates. But had I been born now, instead of 40+ years ago, I would have been considered a different sort of special. This site was started to encourage other Autistics and the people who love them .

One thought on “How do you know if you are a boy or girl?”

  1. Okay, you got me! I’ll be watching for your Biblical clues. I just always thought he created man then he created woman and they pretty much decided on their own how they were different! God talked to them and they listened a lot in those days. Maybe he held an anatomy class for them and explained all about the birds and the bees; that’s how Eve knew she gave birth to a man child. 😀


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