I didn’t choose to be gay

This phrase has baffled me for some time.

As you may have gathered from previous posts, I interpret the Bible to say that heterosexuality or abstinence is the way that has God designed people to interact.

However, I also believe the Bible says that God is a just and loving God, so He would not expect people to behave in ways that are against the way they were designed to behave.

For instance, people who are left-handed used to be vilified in the worst sorts of ways, being thought of as spawn of the devil, himself. But a quick read of the scriptures (ok, so maybe it isn’t the most talked about story in the Bible, but it is in there) finds a story about a left-handed judge of Israel. Judges were selected by God to rule, so clearly, it is not against God’s design to be left-handed:

15 Again the Israelites cried out to the Lord, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab.

So I kept asking God,”How is it that you seem to say that we should not be homosexual, yet so many people who claim to be homosexual say that they did not choose to be so? I know you do not ask people to be something that they are not able to be.”

After a few years of pondering that question, He brought to mind an incident that I had totally forgotten about:

Many years ago I had just gotten home from spending some great time with friends. As I was thinking about how wonderful it was to have such a fabulous support system to laugh with, cry with, study with, just live life with, a thought I had never had before ran through my head. I don’t remember the exact wording of the thought, because I dismissed it so quickly. But it had something to do with the idea that I could become homosexual, if I wanted.

As I said, I quickly dismissed that thought as something from I don’t even know where and went on with life as a heterosexual. I did not choose to think that thought. None of my friends had ever done anything to induce that thought. It just was a random thought.

But now I understand how people can truly believe that they did not choose to be homosexual.

And I also understand how God can ask something of us that we initially may think isn’t very fair.

Just because a thought runs through our head, doesn’t mean that we have to accept it or act on it. We must always hold it up to the Bible to see if it is what God would have for us. If it is not, we can dismiss it. If it is something God wants for us, we, with His help can make it a part of us.

Oh, and we don’t need to be embarrassed by an errant thought – everyone has them:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

It’s what we do with those random thoughts that matter. Here’s to a great day corralling the unhelpful random thoughts, and acting on the good ones in all areas of our lives! Blessings, everyone.



Published by

Heather Holbrook

I found out that I have Autism upon having a son with the same "disorder." Ironically, I was voted, "Most Likely to Succeed," by my high school classmates. But had I been born now, instead of 40+ years ago, I would have been considered a different sort of special. This site was started to encourage other Autistics and the people who love them .

9 thoughts on “I didn’t choose to be gay”

  1. Great post Heather. And yes, we do have a choice. We have a choice for everything. I also had those thoughts once when I was in my wild party days. I used to experiment with drugs when I didn’t believe in God, and one night I almost had the opportunity to experiment with a woman. The next day, when I was sober, I started to get really scared thinking I was becoming gay. I pushed that aside, and not too long afterwards, I started to seek truth.
    Have you ever read what it says about this topic in Romans 1?


    1. I sure have – Romans 1 pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? I am so glad that you found truth. I would so miss reading your insights! Blessings, and thanks for sharing your story. I am sure it is going to bless others!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your openness about “random” thoughts. A few weeks ago, I wrote in a blog about becoming sin conscious and told about going to the outhouse to say bad words when I was about ten or so. Some of my family really had a laugh. Sometimes those random thoughts even lead to bad acts. Fortunately I decided to be serious about accepting Jesus and those acts did not grow. But even accepting Him has not prevented all “random” thoughts. My decision and his grace prevents them from becoming actions. May your blogging result in much help to hurting people.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Being homosexual is a choice. I have also thought long and hard about it. I won’t hesitate to say that I have even tried liking men. I have failed miserably! When I see such a preponderance of beautiful ladies, I cringe at the thought of liking men in the same manner. In fact, I am repulsed by the thought. I suppose one has to acquire the taste at a very early age; not after admiring beauty in ladies all one’s life. Won’t happen. It is an acquired way of life, driven by choice. They say it has something to do with hormones; really? I am thankful for the way our Maker has made us.


  4. Hi Heather! I really like this post. As you suggest, we all have errant thoughts but I think both prayer and Bible study are essential for determining God’s will. It’s important that we don’t think we know better than God. Blessings to you!


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