Tag: discrimination

My family thinks we should get him labeled.

(You Want to Test My Kid for What? Devotional #5)

Proverbs 15:22  Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

By the time our son had reached his third birthday, and still did not say much more than, “mama,” “daddy,” and “no,” our extended families were getting very concerned. It is true that there are some children that don’t start speaking until they are four, but that is very unique. We used the argument that Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four, because, as he said, he hadn’t seen a need to speak until then. Later I learned that it is widely believed that Albert Einstein was probably on the Autism Spectrum. So much for that argument.

Our son was able to get his needs met by grunting and looking at what he wanted. It was challenging to understand him at times, since when looking at an object on a kitchen counter, it could be difficult to tell which object of the 10 or so was he looking at? There were days when I was near tears or just barely able to keep from screaming in frustration during these guessing games.

Our son liked a predictable schedule and predictable food. This had been simple to maintain when it had just been the two of us at home all day, and when his sister had been a baby. But now that she was nearing her second birthday, she had ideas and opinions of her own. She liked surprises, both in schedule and food. His consistently intense reactions to disruptions in his life were getting more and more difficult for me and others to handle.

My mother wisely noted that it would be better for people to learn that he has a disability than to simply think that he is a brat. I kept hoping that he was just being the typical three-year-old and would grow out of his tantrums.

The earlier you get help for your child, the easier it will be for them to learn new ways of behaving. So if you have a supportive group of friends or family who are concerned about your child, seriously think and pray about if you should get your child help.

We do NOT want him labeled!

(You Want to Test My Kid for What? Devotional #4)

Proverbs 22:1  A good name is more desirable than great riches.

My husband and I were caught in a catch 22. We were pretty sure that our son was not, “normal.” But our state won’t let anyone in their employ help our son without giving him a label, first. It makes sense that the state can’t okay the disbursement of funds unless there is documented need for those funds. But we were afraid that getting that label would fundamentally change how the world treated our son.

I suppose we could have had him tested and labeled by the school district without telling anyone we knew about it. But the label would follow him throughout his school career. Eventually word would get out. We could have chosen to have him tested by a private agency, but again, if he needed help once he became school-age, the label would have to be shared with the school district. We knew that realistically, there would be no way to keep such a label from affecting him.

We were afraid that people would consider him to be stupid, that they would not give him a chance at life, that they would make fun of him or find ways to manipulate and use him. So we decided that at two years of age, a label was not what we wanted for him.

Was it selfish on our part to not move forward with testing? Were we just too scared to deal with the implications of a label? Possibly. Do I sit and wonder what our child would be like if we had decided to get help for him earlier? No. We made the best decisions we knew how to at the time, and I believe God will honor that.

What things do you worry about should your child receive the label of, “Autism?”

Thankfully people today are much more open to treating those with differences as an important part of society, compared to previous generations where people with differences were often hid away.