Even heroes need comfort

lonely hero

Genesis 24:67

Isaac married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.This verse struck me.

Here this 40 year old bachelor nomad meets and marries this beautiful girl in the same afternoon. There is no record of Isaac’s verbal reaction to the the story of how God miraculously guided his father’s servant to the girl, that God encouraged her relatives to let her go, and that God gave her excitement to go to a place she has never been to marry a man she has never met.

I suppose the fact that he did listen and then immediately married Rebekah means that the story of her arrival meant something to him. And it does say that Isaac not only married Rebekah, but that he truly loved her.

But I must admit that I didn’t like the very end of the verse: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. Being at the end like that left me feeling like he used his marriage just as a way of finding comfort.

The Bible says that Isaac’s mom, Sarah, lived until she was 127 years old, which would mean that Isaac was about 37 when she died.

Being his mom’s only child probably meant that she totally doted on him. And he was relatively young when she died. Losing her would have been a big deal. So I can see why he needed comfort. But still. She’s your wife! How about loving her for her?

In the next chapters of Genesis there is no mention of thoughts of his mom, only love for his wife and how he wants God to bless her. So while his relationship with Rebekah did help assuage the grief caused by the loss of his mother, he was thrilled to be married to Rebekah, herself, as a person, not just as a comfort.

This shows that the Bible heroes of old loved and lost and needed help getting over those loses just like us today.  I thank God that I have a husband who I love just for himself. But I also thank God that my husband can be a comfort to me in the face of other little losses that I face throughout the day.

No one can replace God, but it is nice that He gives us other humans to help us along the way.

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I need to leave pretty soon

“OK, see you!” and off my Aspie zoomed to the Tilt-a-Whirl line.

“But I don’t want to go on that ride, again,” his friend called after him. “I need to leave pretty soon.”

“Mom, his friend said he needs to leave pretty soon,” my nine-year-old daughter repeated, concern written on her face.

“Yeah, I know. I wonder why he isn’t going to find his dad and sister.”

“Mom, my brother should be going on the rides his friend wants to go on.”

“Oh, of course, that is what his friend  is trying to say!” I tried to get my son’s attention, but he was already on the ride. So when he got he off that ride, I caught his attention and helped him understand what his friend was trying to communicate.

“Oh! Hey, what ride do you want to go on?” and off the two ran to do what his friend wanted.

Thank goodness for my NT daughter, helping my son and I decode that phrase, which is considered a polite way of speaking in the world of NTs.

While telling this story to a few of my NT friends, they were just like my daughter, realizing what the friend wanted immediately.

Oh, to be able to understand all of those NT half-communiques! I guess this is just another phrase I will have to memorize and watch out for!

Ah, to speak the same language!

My son started social skills classes again this summer. He loves the school, which is in a cute little touristy town, so my daughter and I have a blast window shopping while he is studying. Also, I learn a lot by reading his class material!

I have always been very pleased with the staff person assigned to him each year. They are always kind, firm, fun and obviously love working with kids like him. The staff is also personable with the parents, so it has always been a joy to work with them.

But this summer, what a treat! The second day I picked my son up, not only did I get the usual, “He had a good day,” or “He needed a little help in this area,” and then a quick synopsis of why the day was good or bad, but I got an actual rundown of the order of events of the class. For the first time in the three years we have been at this school, I got to hear exactly what had happened during the two hours, in a very succinct, but somewhat detailed manner.

I don’t know that every parent would want that information, but as someone on the Autism Spectrum, I love that kind of description of events. I later learned that the staff person had taken classes at the school for several years before working for the school. In other words, that staff member is also somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. No wonder they are someone who speaks my language!

It’s like it doesn’t exist

Several months ago I was having lunch with some friends, one of whom has ADHD, so has many similar issues to myself. As the four of us were talking, somehow we got onto the subject of disabilities, God, and His ability to heal.

I shared how when I am doing exactly what God wants me to, the disability seems to disappear, but when I am not trusting God, and trying things my own way, my ASD is very apparent.

My ADHD friend’s eyes lit up. “Yes! That is exactly how it is!”

May we all experience our limitations being lifted by God, especially as we celebrate the ultimate lifting of our lives through Christ’s death and resurrection!

Blessed Easter, everyone:)

Black vs. Grey

So here’s a great example of the difference between my black-and-white thinking, and my husband’s grey thinking.

Several years ago my husband had kidney stones. After a week on meds to see if they would pass, he went back to the clinic in a ton of pain, and they sent him via ambulance to the ER because he had a dangerously high heartbeat. After my mom drove the 90 miles to our house to stay with the kids, I met him in the ER.

They were just getting ready to move him to a room, as his heart rate was still too high, and they had learned that he also had pneumonia! He was telling the nurse that he had taken some Dayquil in the morning because he had felt a little congested. The nurses response was, “Don’t ever take Dayquil or Nyquil, or anything else like those ever again. That is probably what has caused this rapid heartbeat.”

I went home that evening and threw out the offending medications. I had tried Nyquil once years before and had felt like my mind and body were buzzing all night while I was asleep. I woke up more tired and agitated than if I had just coughed and wheezed all night. So I didn’t mind seeing the stuff go.

After several days in the hospital my husband’s heartbeat returned to normal. The doctors never could find a cause for the tachycardia beyond the Dayquil. He recovered from the pneumonia and passed the kidney stones, and is just fine now.

Fast forward to a week ago. He was fighting some early spring cold, and went in search of some bedtime relief. “Do we have any Nyquil,” came floating out of the bathroom.

I had to work really hard to not scream, “You have got to be kidding me! You want to take the stuff that nearly killed you? Do you not remember anything?!” Instead I said something like, “Don’t you remember, the doctor said that you weren’t ever supposed to have that again.” I tried really hard not to sound annoyed or condescending.

His response went something along these lines. “I don’t remember that. Oh, wait, I remember hearing something like that, but I didn’t think it meant forever. I just thought it meant for that situation… I suppose maybe they did mean that…. Ok, thanks, good night.”

All I could do was shake my head in wonderment.