Our worst fears are confirmed.

(You Want to Test My Kid for What? Devotional #7)

Job 3:25  What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.

It wasn’t exactly surprising to us, since the specialists made it clear all along that they thought our son may have autism. But getting the actual label was quite shocking and numbing.

The specialists who tested him and who interviewed and talked with my husband and I could not have been nicer. But to be told that your precious little child has something so possibly debilitating, something with no cure, something that will not kill him, but will require him to live a normal life span under such difficult circumstances was very disheartening.

And, because of the litigious nature of our current culture, the professionals must always tell us the worst possible scenarios, and downplay the best. So we were handed page upon page describing his disability. We were told that there was only a 30 percent chance that he had a normal intelligence level. The possibility of him living independently as an adult seemed very unlikely.

It was a bit of a relief to know what the problem was, and being surrounded by a group of people who were obviously interested in helping us was comforting. But the deadening thud on our hearts could not be denied.

Thanks be to God that He does not leave us to suffer alone for long. As He eventually comforted and blessed Job, so we can trust that He will do the same for us.

Published by

Heather Holbrook

I found out that I have Autism upon having a son with the same "disorder." Ironically, I was voted, "Most Likely to Succeed," by my high school classmates. But had I been born now, instead of 40+ years ago, I would have been considered a different sort of special. This site was started to encourage other Autistics and the people who love them .

4 thoughts on “Our worst fears are confirmed.”

  1. Have you read my little “about me” section? I have Asperger’s syndrome, so I totally understand your feelings about what NTs have to say about those of us with Asperger’s. Having been married for some time now to an NT, I have learned that I have strengths he does not, and vice versa. We both have helped each other understand this planet. Because we Aspies are in the vast minority, like it or not, it is up to us to help NTs understand us, and to be understanding when they just don’t get it.


    1. I too am married to a NT man, so I totally understand about how good it is to have a neurological “balance” in a household.

      I know all about how much work it is to help NTs understand us. It would be wonderful if NTs worked so hard to help us Aspies understand them. Love is the only thing that would motivate them to do so.

      The most useful information I have received for understanding NTs was also the hardest to acquire. I think that since you’re a fellow Aspergian, you might know what I mean.

      Age is another factor which should not be left out. You are much younger than me. I know a lot of young Aspies, but only a few around my age. I don’t want to say much more about this other than that time spent living through life’s experiences opens up one’s eyes to a lot of insights which don’t come any other way.

      When your children have children, you enter into a further dimension of life that makes it harder for those who haven’t reached that stage to understand all that comes with it.


  2. Hi Quinn,

    I totally understand your frustration at my use of negative terms. However, this blog entry was to tell parents who are struggling through what I have struggled through that their fears are normal. This entry is to show the reality of life as it exists today. This blog is to present the reality of life with Asperger’s, not some pie in the sky dream land of what all of us Aspies wish life was like.


    1. It’s too bad that these fears are “normal.” It never should have become that way and it wouldn’t have if NTs would have allowed Aspies to pave the introduction of Aspergers into society.

      As for an alternative view of life being “some pie in the sky dream land,” the flip view of life is “negative and hopeless.”

      I know very well what the reality of life with Asperger’s is like. I’ve spent 56 years living with it. That’s exactly why the awareness of its existence in my life has brought me the freedom and joy I now have.

      I celebrate it as a bird would being let out of a cage. I no longer waste my time and energy trying to do impossible things. I’m no longer able to be manipulated and played mind games on because I now understand what’s going on.

      I feel empowered and like myself first the first time ever… all because of no longer being ignorant of things that I could not understand before.

      I used to suffer a lot. I was suicidal, depressed, lonely, etc. That’s all now in my past. My present life is filled with joy, contentment, and peace. Is that what others interpret as being “some pie in the sky dream land?” If so, I don’t care. It’s not any of my business how someone else interprets it.

      What I don’t want to see happen is the Aspie youths being robbed of what they can have in life; those things they can control… number one of which is how good they can feel about who they are. That’s what’s true success!


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