Whose turn is it to play, now?

Another thing my kids loved to fight about: who has to have the first piano lesson. We have two half-hour slots back-to-back and they both wanted to go second. After several months of trying to remember whose turn it was to go first, I had wished that I had started the year with a set time for each of them.

I thought about trying to set a specific time slot for each when I could no longer stand the bickering. But assigning  my Aspie the dreaded first slot would have meant him treating his sister badly for the rest of the year. His perception of being treated unfairly by that assignment would have overrode his ability to stop himself from getting into trouble every week, even if I gave him a consequence every week. Giving into his sassiness and making his sister take the dreaded first slot wasn’t fair to her, nor good for him. So I had to come up with a different plan.

I guess we could have went month-by-month on that, too. But after praying fervently one day on the way to piano lessons while the kids were arguing in the back, I ended up coming up with the odd/even schedule. My son picked, “odd,” so he goes second on odd-numbered days, and first on even-numbered days.

When we switch from one month to another someone has to go first twice in a row at times. This caused some screeching, and feelings of being tricked the first time it happened to my Aspie, so that caused some trouble. But after learning that fussing will earn you the first time slot for the month, I don’t hear anymore fussing.

At first I had wished I had not agreed to the odd/even schedule because of the possible repetition of going first, but it has turned out to be a good lesson on learning flexibility for my Aspie.

Published by

Heather Holbrook

I found out that I have Autism upon having a son with the same "disorder." Ironically, I was voted, "Most Likely to Succeed," by my high school classmates. But had I been born now, instead of 40+ years ago, I would have been considered a different sort of special. This site was started to encourage other Autistics and the people who love them .

2 thoughts on “Whose turn is it to play, now?”

  1. Mama, you’re doing a great job! You’re feeling forced into conventional methods, but instead are working out things in the way that works for your little guy.

    In doing so you’re teaching him that sometimes you have to follow the predetermined rules, but sometimes you get to provide your input.

    As I tell my boys, “When I can, I will. But I can’t always.”


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